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Sandeep 's World >> Thinkin' Aloud
Wednesday, 6 February 2008
A memorable evening!

He slowed the car and scanned all the girls standing there, some in very gaudy dresses and extremely garish makeup, which repelled him. His eyes finally rested on one, with some taste, a yellow printed saree, with normal looking makeup, tall and reasonably good looking. Like the rest of them she was also watching him intently. He stopped the car next to her and signalled her to come near. She obliged with a curious smile and twinkling eyes.
He: "How much?"
She: "Fifteen hundred"
He looked surprised, more at her western accent than at the price: "For, how long?"
She: "Two hours"
He: "You have a place?"
She: "Yes, independent house"
He: "I dont want to come to a shady place"
She: "No, its neat"
He: "Ok ... and two hours is two hours! Without including travel time"
She: "Ok"
He opened the door and she got in while he scrutinized her once again from head to toe. Hmmm ... she looked good ... he thought!

Meanwhile, she was looking at the watch, it is already 9 and two hours would mean, she cannot come back before 11. Its done for the day! "Which way?", he asked, she pointed to take a right from the next signal and then asked for the money.
"Whats the hurry? Am not running away without paying you ... atleast lemme see ur place and make sure its neat."
"Its neat and you have to pay in advance", she insisted. He dug out his vallet from his jeans pocket and handed over two five hundred rupee notes to her and said "the rest after reaching there" and she agreed.

Then he asked her name, and she said "Sweety".
He: "Crap, I am asking the real name ... not ur nick name!"
She smiled and told her real name. Then he picked up his phone and asked her for her number.
"Why do u want it?" she hesitated.
"May be I can call u again ... or may be take u out. I will give u mine as well"
"I dont generally give out my phone numbers, had problems with people calling repeatedly before"
"Do I look like one who has the time to stalk you?" he smiled.
"How would I know!" she smiled too ... but gave out her number. He saved it in his mobile and then picked up a visiting card and handed over to her. She scrutinized it closely before dropping it in her handbag.
"Now, do I sound like someone who wouldnt stalk you" He smiled again. She chose to ignore the question and asked "Are you married?"
He: "No"
She: "Ok, Girl friends?"
He: "None .... now"
She: "Ok!", she now had an understanding smile.
He: "I wanted to do something crazy" looking a bit embarrassed
She: "Ok" and touched his hand with hers. He smiled.

It took them about 10 more minutes to reach her place and that was good enough time to have a decent chat. He talked about his last girl friend and she talked about how she gets double income as a nurse in day time. It was surprising for him "Doesnt people at ur hospital know what u do in the night?"
She: "Not yet"
He: "Wow ... is the income from this too high and worth the risk?"
She: "Hmm ... yes ... as just a nurse I didnt have enough for myself, forget sending money home. This place is too costly to leave. Now things are good!"
He thought about the usual movie scenario, where the heroine earned only to feed her child! Far from it!
She continued: "Except for the police!"
He: "Have u been caught?"
She: "yeah ... so many times". He looked sympathetic and she felt good about sharing her adventure.
He: "That doesnt stop u?"
She: "Oye ... they just want their share and is happy, as long as we give it to them"
He: "Hmmm ..." he nodded!

PS: This is to be continued


Posted by usandeep at 11:53 AM
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Tuesday, 20 November 2007
Thoughts under the same roof

He was happy ... his best friend had come back from US ... and straight away to his place ... He was always in awe of his friend: for the laughs he generates with his little sis, parents and even his wife. Everybody seemed to like him ... and his unending reserves of energy! He was badly missed when not around.

He knew his little sis had a crush on his friend and always wondered if the interest was mutual. Wud've been gr8 if it is ... He looked around to his wife for an opinion; she was reading something and playing with her mobile at the same time. He went back to his thoughts ...


They were happy too ... to see their son's best friend after a long gap. They always wanted him to be part of their family and never lost a chance to mention it. They knew their daughter adored him ... and hoped that he was interested too! She is about to complete her college. It was time to bring it before his parents. What an alliance it would be!


She was ecstatic to see her man back ... and the mobile kept making clicking sounds ... message after message:

She: "I think everybody slept ... my door is open!"

He: "Ur brother is in next room. I dont want to be thrown out."

She: "Ok ... I will come there then!"

He: "Nah ... not today"

...

...

She: "Hmmm ... will u come to college tomorrow?"

He: "What time?"

...

It went on for another hour ... He mite have been tired with all the travel ... she thought ... and slowly drifted to sleep still dreaming abt him sneaking into her room ...


He had no choice but to disappoint her this time ... coz he cudnt have had two women in his room at the same time! But he was more receptive to another set of text messages!

She: "Slept?"

He: "Nah ... Waiting for u!"

She: ":-) I cant wait to be with u"

He: ":-) ... isnt he still awake?"

She: "He'll be asleep soon ... and wudnt get up. Keep the door open"

He: "The door is already open"

He always liked taking risks. What better than this one?


An hour later ... a silhoutte came out of one of the rooms, gave one last look at her husband to make sure he is asleep and rushed to the adjacent room. The door closed behind her!


Posted by usandeep at 7:22 PM
Updated: Saturday, 23 February 2008 10:53 AM
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Sunday, 18 November 2007
Part II of 'Another Boy and Girl Story'!

Outcaste doesnt get up before 9 and he was snoring loudly when Fan #1 walked into his room ... with a mobile and the princess on its other end!

"Can u come to class early today? ... I have something for u!" The outcaste cringed ... "What?? Its only 7 now! Lemme sleep! I'll see u in the evening" ... "Plzzzzzz" ... she pleaded ... the outcaste scratched his head in despair! "What is this now??"

He soon discovered what it was! With the whole class singing "Happy Birthday to u ...", the board decorated with his name written on it ... and a cake waiting ... it slowly dawned on him! Poor guy, never ever celebrated his birthday in his life! Nobody ever remembered it ... including him! This was too much and he stood there with his jaws open!

In the middle of all this, he saw the princess, everybody else's princess till then ... and now only his!


"U smell good..." The princess crooned, later in the day, with her face buried in the curve of his neck. "I smell of sweat ..." shrugged the Outcaste, "... deo is over ..." The princess burst into laughter ... and moved in closer ... "U wont understand ... I luv the way U smell ... I luv everything abt u ... U'll never understand". Ofcourse, the outcaste didnt understand what she likes about him ... but his eyes twinkled ... his shoulder broadened ... and he decided to never buy the deo again!


Posted by usandeep at 5:33 PM
Updated: Tuesday, 19 February 2008 12:18 AM
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Friday, 16 November 2007
An Honour!
I got to you from
http://usandeep.com/trekking/vellarimala.html

Sandeep,
I'ts around 2AM, and as it happens once every few months (it's getting more frequent these past couple of years) I've hovered over verdant forests and majestic acclivities, swooped into deep gorges and zoomed up over jagged ridges, twisted the lat-long grid 360degrees a few times till I get a headache, extracting every last information bit the current resolution GoogleEarth can offer on potential new routes up ....
Vellarimala

And in between soothing my aching joints and pacifying my aching heart I did the next thing I always do on such occassions - Google for "Chembra", "Anakkampoyil", and ....
"Vellarimala"

And I chanced upon you trip report, and I knew I must write to you. I was the life and soul of the Adventure Club in REC Calicut circa '89/'93. And I and my equally dim-witted and numb-skulled group of maniacs had spent our REC days, first discovering the little hamlet of Anakkampoyil with no telephone pole no electric pole no plastic no plastic bottle, then the charming walk to Muthapanpuzha, then onto the jungles and then two frigging years discovering a route to Vavalmala.

Being good engineers and blossoming men, we refused to ask for directions, and we suffered mightily. We planned and plotted and dreamt of all possible lines of attack standing in the MB and from lecture halls, staring at the looming phantomhead of Vavalmala surging in the horizon. We dissected the planes the gorges and the shoulders looking for a route up. And we did summer trips, peak-monsoon treks, 2-man alpine attacks, 12-man British expeditions.

Many a times did we escape certain death and maiming on this noble endeavour fuelled by extra tankfuls of testosterone and adrenaline and not inconvenienced by mere common sense and any primal need for survival:

The first time almost stepping off into olichuchattam at midnight - we at the vanguard  of mallu adventuredom, when adventure was a word that got you thrown out of decent mallu homes, kitted out in PVC soled shoes and boxy airbags filled with ironed creased polyester-blend trousers and shirts got stranded on the wrongside of the olichuchattam rockface at dusk. And there were 12 hopelessly inexperienced climbers - a few with spare left feet - plastered across 40 vertical feet of rock and ledges and slippery grass, with 4 weak torches showing the way at 10PM on a chill night, accompnaied by furtive heavy movement of animals in the forest below - possibly famished life-forms awaiting an easy meal.

The second time when Subra actually stepped off a huge boulder in pitch-dark during our first epic emergency descent on a monsoon night, escaping a soggy, frozen, leech infested death after three unsuccessful hours trying to build a fire in a campsite between the jungle gloom and a precipice. And to think it had all started as a carefully planned monsoon attack on the summit!!

The third when Pmurthy and I almost took a basejump from vavalmala while we were crawling speedily along the long 3-feet high animal tunnels among the bamboo thickets, and piling into each other at the stunningly sudden appearance of grey nothingness almost under our nose.

The fourth time, which really would have been a fittingly heroic death to all concerned - from starvation, exhaustion and inebriation - during our wildly successful vaval summit attack. Another meticulously planned trip when the food ran out and 5 of us survived on a couple of banana and two large bottle of whiskey - we figured the latter can count as a malted beverage - for a day and half.

The fifth time when a football sized rock came shooting down the trail next to the cave, missed four of us and smashed into a sack full of banana, jam, bread and a filthy costly borrowed digital camera - which was discovered intact in a sackful of banana-pineapple jam-bread soup forming a concrete with powdered glass from jam bottles.

The sixth when Pmurthy and I had to crawl as much of our anatomy into our rucksacks to survive a dusk to dawn thundershower on the exposed summit ridge - the lighting was so bright we could see the colors of flowers a 100feet away.

Yet, despite being very good engineers and blossoming strong silent types, we did achieve the summit a few times. Reaching the summit ridge and retreating to the cave in '91. Reaching the summit on an epic 4-day struggle in '92. I and Pmurthy, going back from Bangalore first time after graduation, successfully executing a strategic retreat from half-way up on day-1 to launch a strong counter-attack on day-2 and climb all the way, in '95. And last, when I tortured my newly attached first-wife-cum-unwitting-former-girlfriend, two supermen from Ozone whose rucksacks were bigger than my tent, and a couple of pals all the way to the summit ridge in '99.

Life was good, running the adventure club with large and active membership in Motorola, starting the Numbskulls club in Sasken etc. Then cruel misfortune befell my life. I got ambitious. I got prosperous. Busy. First wife. Second job. Third job. First kid. Fourth job. Shit, wife is still same. First house. Fifth job. Second car. Second kid ...what second kid? You must be crazy....

Now, on one of those contemplative evenings, when I'm massaging my poor tunnelling carpals lovingly back to life, adjusting my much suffering rear end to a more comfortable and cooler position on the chair, under the nourishing glow of the laptop LCD panel, my gaze trying to penetrate the glass-curtain in the far end of a row of closely packed sensory-deprivation-chambers, the devil starts working on my mind.

That little voice whispering - of plodding those aana & kaatti (bison in local lingo) dung strewn tracks, of the spring in the knee joints when you reach level ground after a long had climb, of scoring ancient lichen off the short stout trees on the ridge to mark return trail, of the dew-wet grass and creepers razoring across forearms and face, and ...ahem... of a new life, in a size 38 jeans, with a new wife....

And on those evenings I go back to GoogleEarth. By now I have located every landmark on the route till almost to the ridge. Now I'm trying to work out the mother of all deep-jungle treks in Western Ghats, starting in Meppadi, getting over two peaks and landing up in Anakkampoyil - or if I'm ambitious, maybe even a third ridge and down to Pulloorampara!! Ah, this will be the stuff of legend.

It feels so so so very good to see that someone has done the trail and written about it. I tried to pass all my tribal knowledge before I left REC, but there were no serious trekkers left by then to pass the baton to. IMHO that 25 or so square miles contain some of the densest, wildest jungles left in India. After spending 6years on that mountain even the supposedly fabled Kodai route was pretty tame for me.

2008 has been declared - as were the previous two - as the year of my first big trek for the 21st Century. And the first big one will be Vavalmala. I will get in touch.

The best hiking season for the western slopes of the western Ghats- barring any serious global warming disruption since '99 - is during the mid-summer showers in early May. Good water, no leeches, cloud cover, perfect lighting for photography.

I'm hungry. I must eat now. Prose after midnight (like bathroom singing) is a highly satisfying exercise in verbal (au(o)ral) diaorrhea. No wonder I got hungry.

Bye.
- Roby Paul Kurien -
ECE, Class of '93

Posted by usandeep at 5:20 AM
Updated: Saturday, 17 November 2007 12:57 PM
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Monday, 12 November 2007
Another Boy and Girl Story!

The boy is an outcaste ... Born Tamilian ... Brought up in Delhi .... so both Tamilians and Delhites doesnt like him. Being a lazy punk .. the rest of the world too!

Girl is nothing short of a princess ... Born Tamilian ... Brought up in Delhi ... so both Tamilians and Delhites love her. Smart and classy ... and as a side note she is beautiful too! Ofcourse, her being smart and classy doesnt have anything to do with how she looks! Some cynics keep telling that she is a little too pompous ... haa ... dont believe them!

On a sleepy afternoon in the class, the princess decides to have some fun. So, she walks up to fan #1 and asks him 'Fan #1, Y do u keep wearing formals all the time? How boring! U know what? U should try out something cooler'.

Fan #1 is all confused ... he was remembering the last time when the princess told him that he was always well dressed! How can she do this now??? But anyways ... he did say 'Yeah ... Guess u r rite!'

With this, the princess turns her attention to Fan #2. One naughty look of hers and he already started blushing! He blushed a lot more after hearing 'Hey ... u got a new pimple .... Hmmm ... Do u know when u start having pimples?' He wanted to say a lot but only managed to smile, failing miserably to hide his shyness and the rest of the fan club laughed out loud ... some rolling on the floor!

Next in line was our boy, who is an out caste and hasnt taken membership in any fan clubs. To everybodies surprise, the girl walks up to him and says 'Hi' in the sweetest of tones. The boy, though a little astonished, manages the civility to say 'Hi' and looks straight at her beautiful and playful eyes.

'Who all are there in ur family?' The princess indeed has plans to get chummy with the out caste.
'Mom, Dad, One elder brother, a younger brother and two younger sisters.' The out caste replies at the most civilized tone he could manage.

Now, the princess is surprised at the possibility of such a small family! 'Wow!!! But thats too small ... U know what I have 10 sisters and 11 brothers!' Ofcourse, the whole world knows that the girl is the only princess and the 10 sisters and 11 brothers are her doggies and cats! The fan club bursts out in laughter and the out caste by now looked annoyed. Looser ... the fan club thought ... why cant he just laugh for a good joke?

But, the boy is not used to keeping quiet so fast ... and thats why he is an outcaste. He waits till the laugh subsides and then retorts 'Cool .... so ur father has a machine gun or what?'

The fan club is stunned and so is the princess. The fan club exclaims 'How could you say such a preposterous thing? And that too to our princess???

The out caste ... who is by now irreversibly out caste, gets up with a smile, fixes his stare back on the princess, takes his bag and without blinking his eye lids, walks out of the class.

While the fan club is running up to the Princess to console her, the Princess was trying real hard to hide a smile!

PS: Any similarities with any one dead or alive is pure coincidence!


Posted by usandeep at 10:58 PM
Updated: Monday, 19 November 2007 9:31 AM
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Friday, 8 June 2007
One week with Rebecca

Ananth peeped out of the window …. They were floating above a bed of clouds. In the far end … near the horizon, there was a mountain … a huge white cloud. Sun’s rays were coming right through it, making it shine like a diamond. Beautiful … he thought … and wished Rebecca was with him … sitting next to him and gazing at the clouds at awe … holding on to his hands as if she was a little child. Soon he cud feel the smell of jasmine flowers … the smell of hers! He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. It wasn’t far …. Just two more hrs … to land in Paris. He cud imagine her curling up against his shoulders as he kisses her forehead and felt a burning desire to pull her towards him.

He remembered, his last day with her … the day she had to leave for Paris. When nobody was around she jumped at him, hugging him tightly and started sobbing. “I don’t want to go …” Ananth felt his throat drying up. Her eyes were already a pool when she lounged forward to kiss him … a mad deep kiss …. leaving him breathless.

A day later … she called up from Paris and broke into tears … again. “I don’t want to be here …. Cant live without u!” and Ananth had a tough time convincing her otherwise. It was just six months … maximum a year … he had told.

These things wud never work out the way you expect … for it’s more than a year that he had been waiting for her to return. God knows … when she will be able to! Ananth had run out of all his excuses. He knew no more ways to comfort her … he knew no more ways to comfort himself … having long realized that “He too … cant live without her!”

Ananth had a week in Paris. Long awaited one week … where he can gift her some fond memories … gift himself some fond memories, which can take them both thro’ their remaining days of separation. One week with Rebecca! He once again peeped out of the window … the aircraft had gone past that shining white cloud in the horizon. But, he cud still see it behind and wanted Rebecca to see it too. He picked up his camera … trying to imagine the way she’ll gaze at those clouds … He cudnt wait … for his one week with Rebecca!


Martin’s fingers crawled its way back around her neck and down. Hmmm … he is at it again… and she had no power to stop him …. for the third time that day. She stared into his crystal green  ... naughty … all conquering eyes. Soon ... got lost in its depth, while he whispered sweet nothings in her ears. They cuddled once again in the bed. Isn’t it too cold to get out?

As she was curling up against his shoulders, he whispered to her: “Don’t u have to pick up ur friend from India?” Rebecca was still for a second, stared at him for a while, but soon it changed to a smirk … and then she told with an annoyed expression: “So … now u want me to go … is it?” threatening to hit his face. They both laughed … as he pulled her tightly towards him: “Nooo …. Who wud want u to go?” and kissed her … a mad deep kiss …. leaving her breathless!

[This story was concieved when the flight was landing in Paris airport and written partly in the Paris Airport and the rest in Paris - Atlanta flight :-) And published in San Jose]


Posted by usandeep at 10:01 AM
Updated: Tuesday, 19 February 2008 12:16 AM
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Saturday, 2 June 2007
From septimal ... to octal!

I noticed Indulekha on the first day of our class. Guess, everybody did … and who wudnt? … she was a class apart. Long beautiful eyes, where you can get lost, Wild, curly, hair upto her shoulders, long flawless pair of legs, which she likes to show off, by wearing skirts, and an impeccable figure any girl would die for. What was she doing there in an Engineering class??? Nobody knew … She shud’ve been in Mahabharatha … as the cause of the epic war, in Ramayana as Ravana’s object of desire or in Illiad as Paris’s love. I remembered the Malayalam verse I heard : "നാരികള്‍ നാരികള്‍ നാശത്തിന്‍ നാരായ വേരുകള്‍!" Which loosely translates to "Women Women, the root cause of all destruction!"

Since, all the freshers were disallowed by seniors, even to grow a moustache, going and talking to a girl was out of question. Seniors use to visit our class every now and then. Most of them targeting Indulekha … asking her all the irrelevant questions like "What’s ur name?", "Where are u from?" and "How much marks did u get for 10th?" It was rumored that some of the guys even asked her to come to the class early or to the canteen for an elongated ragging session, but did not proceed anywhere beyond paying for her lunch. Only use of all these incessant ‘ragging’ sessions were that, all of us knew her biodata byheart.

It took abt half of the first year for the guys in our class, including me, to build up the courage to go and talk to her. And … by the time anybody cud really claim paying for her coffee, juice, ice creams or any other possible eatables … she was spotted in the lover’s valley with Jayakrishnan. Not once, twice but frequently .. chatting for hours!!! Who the hell is Jayakrishnan??? Not the tallest, darkest, handsomest or charmingest guy in our class who was tipped to have won the race. But, probably the quietest, front bencher, who answers every question of ours with a smile … was till then spotted mainly in two places, the computer lab and the library. He was very nice to everybody and greeted all with an innocent smile. But, the only reason why somebody wud talk to him, till now, was for the assignment sheets, once his is finished people will borrow them and use it to fill up their own. Is she using him for the same purpose? Everybody panicked, the seniors who had ignored him till then, ended up stopping him at all odd places and odd hours and questioning him for long times. All the questioning ended up in his innocent smile and nobody cud really conclude what these meetings were all abt!

Meanwhile, some of the people took up different strategies, like our Manoj Kumar, spending hours with the dictionary to compile a love letter which ended up in a direct reply from her "Sorry Manoj, I am not ready for anything like this now." Next day he was spotted in the arrack shop having tapioca and fish curry! Another example was Mathew Kuriakose, trying to send her a bouquet on Valentine’s day, only to find that she had gone home for a few days! In any case, she was unanimously elected the rose queen of the year, with a total of 514 roses sent to her on Valentine’s day. When somebody asked Jayakrishnan abt this, the response was the usual smile along with the fact that 514 is the smallest non-trivial number which cud be expressed in the form N3 + N1/3 (the exact interpretation of his statement and the proof is left to the reader). Gosh … I had to believe this coz the person who started of the story, cudn’t have thought of this himself!

Well … with that, people mostly gave up on Indulekha … She was either already committed to Jayakrishnan or she is not planning to get committed to anyone. There were surely a lot of people looking at her with admiration from a distance, but never worked up the courage to go beyond that. In the coming year, a new rose queen arrived and Jayakrishnan deduced that the number of roses she got was "1000 in septimal number system and hence a special number." When a naive 'what that means?' followed by the interviewer, the answer was his usual smile and a straightforward "I always liked the number 7, I kind of identify myself with #7, and if we had used septimal system, a Kilo wud've been 343!" Ofcourse, the interviewer wud've been more interested in Jayakrishnan's reaction abt more mundane things like y Indulekha isn’t the rose queen this year? Or, will anybody ever break her record of 514 roses? Ofcourse, the couple were continued to be seen in lover’s valley as well as in more obvious places like library and computer lab.

I was also looked at with a li'l jealousy by many when the lab groups were re-arranged based on alphabetic order, with myself and Indulekha ending up as lab mates. After the initial ice-breaking she came across as a warm and friendly person, with high intellect levels. No wonder she fell for Jayakrishnan and his theories on septimal number system.

Little did I realize then, that my life was abt to change. A woman as special as Indulekha was difficult to fall for. Once, the initial awe was gone, I was soon at ease with her. She also seemed to like me and looked comfortable with me around. As days passed my longing for her started growing and became also un-controllable. I took the first step, by calling her out for coffee after a lab session, which soon became a regular affair. Once she gave me a "മയില്‍‌പീലി" (mayilpeeli, peacock's feather in malayalam, Can anybody translate this to English?), saying that it was from a set presented by her dad when she was a kid. She had 12 of them and she had been giving it only to very special people in her life. After giving one each to Jayakrishnan and myself she still had 4 of them left. It was not bad being the 8th important person in her life. The "മയില്‍‌പീലി" was as beautiful and colorful as her. It symbolized that our friendship is reaching new levels and I did keep it a treasure. Well … I may once talk abt how our relationship grew, but my story is now abt Jayakrishnan and Indulekha. Lets not digress now.

During all these days, Indulekha opened up a lot, including her relationship with Jayakrishnan. She had a lot of admiration for Jayakrishnan, had been sharing most of her time with him and taking his opinion on a lot of things, but their relationship till date had never been romantic. It happened so that Indulekha had to face lesser love letters and proposals and even red roses, once she was linked with him and both of them conveniently encouraged the rumours and never denied them. Needless to say, that I saw my chances growing exponentially once all these were revealed. I was the only person who knew abt this and decided to keep quiet abt this.

Finally, on that fateful day, when I proposed to Indulekha and she agreed to consider it after we both get a job, provided there are no stories in the college till then, I visited Jayakrishnan in his room. The door was half closed and Jayakrishnan was lying with his head on a copy of the book, 'What is Mathematics?' I tapped on his shoulder and he woke up. His eyes were red and he looked as if he wasn't well. On my enquiry he told its just a 'headache' and the state of excitement that I was in I didn’t pursue further. I had to tell him abt my proposal and her acceptance, to which he responded with "Indu already called me", but I continued to tell him all abt our meeting, my decision to not tell this to anyone else and the plans to announce it only next year! He listened to all my plans and congratulated me. But, during all this time, not even once … did I realize the reasons for Jayakrishnan identifying himself with #7, Not even once … did I notice the "മയില്‍‌പീലി" popping out of 'What is mathematics?' Not even once … I doubted, why Jayakrishnan was looking pale and didn’t have that innocent, disarming smile on his face now!!!

[This story was first written in Malayalam during my 5th semester BTech, under the title, "ജയകൃഷ്ണന്‍റെ ചിരി" (Jayakrishnante Chiri, meaning Jayakrishnan's smile) and rewritten when I was taking a break from reading 'What is Mathematics?' Hope that explains a lot of things :-) Ofcourse ... any similarities with anyone dead or alive is purely .. coincidental ;-)]


Posted by usandeep at 10:01 AM
Updated: Sunday, 2 March 2008 2:50 PM
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Sunday, 27 May 2007
Show must go on ....

"…But your thoughts will soon be wanderin', the way they always do. When you're ridin' 16 hours, and there's nothin' much to do. And you don't feel much like ridin' you just wish the trip was through …"

I just took over from Rajeev after a break and the stereo reflected exactly how I felt. I was wondering that I usually don’t get this feeling while riding. It didn’t matter much anyways, since Rajeev was in full form and didn’t have any trouble taking over again. I, once again reclined to my seat and got lost in deep thoughts!

We were just entering the Bandipur forest now and I switched off the stereo. When u r in the forest, we shud listen to the song of the forest. It was soon after the rain started, the forest looked very verdant and beautiful. I remembered the last year while I was driving through this forest. She was there with me then and I had her arms in mine and we were shifting the gears together! As soon as the forest is over, the song was started again and we switched to ‘Sutrum Vizhi Sudare’ and ‘Oru Malai’… Hmm … I’ve been missing those rides for almost a year now! In the next couple of months, I may be able to reclaim those moments …..

It’s just a couple of months anyways and Achan and Amma wud be happy to get away from the boring Bangalore life and to get back to their lives in our home town. I always wondered how they were killing time @ Bangalore. They hardly knew anybody arnd them, even if they did, language was a problem. It was fun watching Amma talking to the neighbouring aunty in mostly sign language. Achan was more content sitting in the reclining chair, watching TV or sleeping. Remembered Bharath’s statement that women are faster to adapt to any situation. ‘Ashte’!

Still, both looked happier staying here. Or may be I was imagining? May be only I was happier? It felt good to have them arnd. To come home to … talk to … after those hectic hours in office. After the nomadic life for almost 7 yrs, it felt gr8 to have them arnd.

While finishing off with a few arrangements yesterday, I just felt like hugging Amma … and I did. Guess she was taken by surprise and was touched. I cud see her eyes were a little red, when she turned arnd. I felt like a little boy and wanted to ask ‘Can I sleep here tonite?’

Amma had always been strong and hardly I've seen her melting down. Why now? It was not very different when I started off from home, another hug, touching the feet, trembling fingers and moist eyes … y am I going??? Rajeev … STOP!

Well … nothing happened, I had not really said those words and he hadn’t heard them. He was still going at full throttle. Far away, in the horizon, there was a faint rainbow across a small hill. And a palm tree just in front of them forming a beautiful frame. Why didn’t I take the camera?

Couple of hours later … I was enjoying what I do best … going full throttle in the Mysore road and making the way through the never ending line of vehicles … speedo touching abt 140. Both Amma and Achan had asked me to drive slow … but its OK. I am better off driving fast … and the show must go on …


Posted by usandeep at 10:01 AM
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Friday, 27 April 2007
His ... little .... kid sister!

Nina looked worried when she said “I don’t think she is doing well …. She doesn’t have to flirt with everybody in the office …. And can dress a li’l more decent.” Sarath just smiled … he was obviously not much worried … “C’mon … she is a pretty girl and she will have a few fans … its normal.” He said! Somehow Nina wasn’t convinced. Something kept telling her that Sarath’s little kid sister was not doing well.

Sarath was then thinking abt the first time he talked to Nina abt Minakshi. He had told “Minu is so cute … and I just cant express how I feel abt her … u know ….” This was after a 30 mins phone conversation with Minu, where Nina was waiting. She looked confused … “I just feel so good talking to her … my sweet cutie pie!” He was just looking for words to describe her and Nina’s face was taking a greener shade! Five mins later … Sarath was laughing out so loud … when Nina came up with a “U never called me cute … forget cutie pie!” “Every other girl is cute to you … what all was going on in the phone … honey ... sweety ... baby … have u ever used any of these words while talking to me?” Her eyes were already a pool and Sarath had to control his laughter and pull her towards him to comfort her …. “C’mon … shez like my little kid sister. Am I not supposed to feel like that for her? U know I do luv you …”

Well … Sarath cudn’t ever feel any different for her … she was his little kid sister … right from the day he saw her first. The day when she arrived in Bangalore first; along with uncle and aunty. “Sarath … she knows no one here … and I am expecting u to take care of her …” uncle had told … and how cud he have refused. Minu looked scared then … as if unaware of the ways of this world. Sarath had always wanted a little kid sister … and now he had one. He cud still remember her flared up churidhar and the sweet innocent smile. Even after so many years, he always remembered that sweet innocent smile. He had taken good care of her … taken her arnd the city, for shopping and everything else … by being her friend, being her guardian … being everything she had in this city.

Four years later, he even made sure that she got a job … in Nina’s company. Well … he didn’t have to try hard, since she was anyway a good student and had good marks. She always was a gud student and none of those guys who chased her in the college cud distract her. But now … cud anything be wrong??? No way ... he said to himself. There were times before ... when questions were raised. Like the guy who claimed to be her boy friend … and the girl who claimed to be her well wisher. But everything was blown away to pieces, after Sarath talked to her. The guy was a looser. He had been worshiping her for almost a year now. It was just his frustration. And the girl … she obviously was jealous. How cud I even suspect her … Sarath had thought! He remembered Nina’s comments then: “Well … don’t believe everything that she says.” But, cud Sarath have done anything else? Cud he ever disbelieve his little kid sister?


Nina was at it again … soon … “See … I know this guy … he is a bad guy. And she had been with him for the whole day … I did call up her room mates and asked!” she said. Sarath felt a tremor starting right from his toe. He knew he had to do something this time. If things are the way it is … it doesn’t sound good. “Lemme talk to her!” he said. “No … its not enuf … u shud talk to uncle. Otherwise, if he come and ask u tomorrow u’ll have to answer.” “Lets see … I am sure she’ll listen to me” he said.


“Bhaiyyyaaaaa … “ She screamed at the top of the voice … from the balcony … as soon as she saw Sarath’s car coming inside. She was running towards him even before he finished parking. The same warm hug … and his kiss on her forehead … the same sweet innocent smile. May be the dress is different. Instead of the flared up churidhar … its now jeans and t-shirt … may be a touch shorter than it shud be. But … nevertheless … its the same Minakshi ... whom he saw abt 4 years back.

A guy followed her, came out and said “Hi” to Sarath. “Nice to meet u .. bhaiyya. Am Sachin.” He told. Hmm … not bad Sarath thought. The guy is tall, stylish and handsome, wearing a leather jacket, short, spiked hair, black boots and black trousers. May be one of the rare guys who wudn’t be intimidated with Minu. “I cudnt tell u bhaiyya. Sachin me and some other friends went to Savandurga yesterday. For trekking … it was gr8. It was suddenly planned and I cudnt call u up before going.” “Ohhh .. so that’s what it is …” Sarath gave a sideways glance to Nina …

Some time later, when she was showing the trek photos to him, Sarath, asked her abt Sachin. Minakshi told that “Lot of people thinks that he is a bad guy … but he had always been nice to me. Why shud I worry abt what other people are saying as long as he is nice to me.” Sarath nodded: “Yes … you are rite.”


That evening, when he was heading back home, Sarath was once again sure that his little kid sister cannot go wrong. She was just too good … too good for people to understand her. Sarath cud never have disbelieved her … his little kid sister … ever!


Posted by usandeep at 10:01 AM
Updated: Tuesday, 19 February 2008 12:14 AM
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Thursday, 5 October 2006
The Saint!

"Oh … c’mon … Nandan is the closest person I’ve seen to perfect. He doesnt booze. He doesnt smoke. He doesnt stare at other girls. Very precise in whatever he says, extremely nice and receptive to others. Well read and gr8 sense of humour. What more do u want?" … I finally broke out in frustration and started counting all of Nandan’s virtues.

"Hmm … all these don’t mean he is any fun to live a life with." was her answer.

"Then what else do u need?"

"Lets say someone who can make mistakes, who is fun to argue with, who’ll let me win too … someone who can take instinctive decisions …" she paused with a sly smile. And continued, "say … like deciding to drive if u don’t get tickets to go home!"

For a second I was pale and tried to not show it and then we both laughed.

"Forget me … I’m ‘sold’ for almost 2 yrs now … lets talk about what u like … what kind of a girl are u gonna marry?"

"Hmmm …" I cudn’t think of anything to say so fast.

"Ok … lets say … ash or sush".

"Sush." That was pretty fast decision for me and she looked surprised.

"Thats … strange … most people wud say Ash."

"Hmmm … I think … Sush looks a lot wilder and lively person and Ash is more like a lifeless mannequin."

"Hmm … interesting …" then she added "… I think I'll agree with that!"

Swathi Nandan is fair and petite, had curly hair and that angelic smile of hers showed off a very prominent pair of dimples. I classified her as the pretty, yet friendly girl next door! I always used to fancy wild looking women, like say Sush or Sheethal Mallar, usually tall and athletic with dusky complexion, and she hardly fitted that category. But, after a few hours with her, during this drive from Bangalore to Kerala, I realized that she had something special. May be the mysterious expression in her big eyes or may be the cool and comfortable way in which she interacted with me; I almost felt like I knew her for ages. The most striking thing though was the wild fragrance she carried. It reminded me of some flower or fruit which I could not recollect.

Nandan was in US when they got married and I had met Swathi only a few days before this, when Nandan was in Bangalore for an official visit and had been mostly busy. I haven’t talked much to her, until the day we drove to Kerala together. Underneath her innocent smile and twinkling eyes, she had seemed a very classy lady and somewhat reserved. During the trip, she looked friendly and tried talking about a few things here and there. Initially, it was more about Nandan - She cudnt help laughing when I mentioned that Nandan was called ‘The Saint’ in college, being a strong advocate of teetotalism and more so due to the indifference towards his female fans! With me stating that he was a gentleman in college and talking abt how he ignored his female fans and kept his pledge for teetotalism even after so many years, an animated discussion followed. Soon the conversation shifted to a few other topics and there … I discovered that she was nothing short of an incessant chatterbox!!! In fact, the only few minutes she kept quiet was when I offered her the wheels. She didn’t seem to be comfortable with manual gears and soon gave up, citing the reason that I am a very boring and quiet "navigator" and didn’t provide her any "entertainment"! Well … now I had one more reason to pull her legs?

After crossing the Kerala border and it getting darker, Swathi suggested that we should not drive in the night and take a break somewhere. I was not very receptive of this idea, since my initial plan was to keep driving and reach home even if it takes till midnight. Seeing my reluctance, she had an amused expression and ended up with the taunt:

"U r not comfortable staying at a hotel with me?"

I had to respond with a very defensive "NO! NO! NO! NO … I generally drive all the way in one day and reach by midnight".

"So u r not planning to drop me home???" and another teasing smile. I had to oblige.

It seemed that she was enjoying my discomfort. I was obviously worried about more mundane things like, if she will be ok with a double room! She teased me again with an "I am not going to do anything to you, even if we are in the same room." I felt like a complete moron and looks like she felt sorry for me, finally. She assured me that she and her husband has complete faith that I am a gentleman. I started sweating by now!!! Hopefully, her idea of a "gentleman" is not in lines with "The Saint".

We had dinner en route and selected a decent looking family hotel. Inside the room, there was silence for a short while. We looked at each other and smiled. To avoid the confusion I got up and went to the bathroom. She looked at me with a very curious expression and asked if she can lock me up inside, so that she can wear something more comfortable. With this I burst into laughter and suggested that I would prefer waiting outside and she can take her time inside. While she locked up the door, I was only glad to walk out into the corridor and in the process managed to sneak out a cigarette and lighter. Being a "gentleman" was too difficult a task for me!

In five minutes, she opened the door again and gave me a warm smile. By then she had changed into a skirt and t-shirt. I took some more time to get in and saw her sitting in one of the beds waiting for me. I could not help noticing her perfectly shaped feet, and the contrast of her complexion to the blood-red nail polish she was wearing. Also, that smell of hers was much wilder and stronger now. It had a real mesmerizing effect and my heart has started beating a bit faster by now. I wanted to avoid any more stupidity and asked her if I can switch off the lights. She looked at the watch and said "Its only 8.30", but then said "fine", may be noticing the stupid expression I had.

Lights were off in a flash and I quickly hit the bed, turned around and pretended that I am fast asleep. 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes … complete silence and I was assured she will be asleep by then and turned around. At the dim light falling through the window, I realized I was completely wrong – she was lying down there, with her eyes wide open and turning towards my side. Now I had to ask "U r not feeling sleepy?" to which she replied "this early, no way." Two more minutes we gazed at each other and she said "I can not see your face". I was glad to hear this and smiled back.

This triggered another conversation, which lead to "It’s a small bed … I am afraid I’ll fall down" from her and I just kept quite. After a minute’s pause she asked me if I mind "joining the two beds". My heart missed a beat and felt my mouth was completely dry but managed to say "Sure … y not?" without any signs of discomfort and proceeded to join them together. After this we retired to the same position, facing each other, but this time much closer to each other. I wish I could just reach over and pull her towards me, but just stayed petrified. That wild fragrance of hers, hit my nose once again and I was afraid she’ll be able to hear my heartbeats!

Few more minutes later, which I felt like eons, she said I might be tired and it’s better if I go to sleep. I was flustered and wondered if she understood what I was going through, closed my eyes and pretended I am going to sleep. But, sleep had long evaded me by then. I couldn’t keep my eyes closed when I sensed her moving just next to me. On looking towards her, I saw her lying flat with hands pressed on to her forehead. I asked "what happened?" and she said "headache". I was feeling the pain and felt miserable for lying there helpless. For a second time, she closed her eyes tight and pressed her fingers once again into her forehead. As in a dream, I lifted my hand and lowered it towards her forehead and slowly caressed the soft, smooth skin of her forehead.

To my surprise she seemed to be living in the same dream as mine. With her eyes closed she turned her face towards my hand and rested her head there. I could hear my heartbeat by the time I pulled her towards my shoulder. Now, I could feel her fragrance all over me and my fingers running through her soft, curly hair into her back, finally pulling her strongly for a tight hug. With her face deeply buried in my chest and the soft, curly hair all over my face, the next few seconds were way too longer than any normal day in my life. I cud feel her fragrance filling me up and rendering me unconscious.


"It’s not your fault", was her response, the next day when I apologised to her as we were approaching her house. I was wondering what to say to her and finally cudn’t come up with anything better than an apology. She had a smile in her face when she said this, which sounded to me as … ‘so u r finally washing off ur hands with an apology?’ I had to add that "If Nandan happens to know about this, I would have difficulty facing him". She paused for a minute and then looked up at me; I had trouble meeting her gaze and looked away.

As we reached the gate of her house, she said : "See … there are a lot of things you don’t know about us. The only thing I can tell you right now is that I am not afraid about Nandan knowing this. Still … If you don’t want him to know, he wouldn’t!" With this she stepped out of the car, just casually enquired if I want to come inside and upon my expected refusal thanked me for the ride and walked away. With her she carried her wild fragrance and all my peace of mind.


The day of their departure, I offered to drop them at the airport. On that day, I met Swathi again at their guesthouse. She was clad in a blue crape sari and looked gorgeous. She said "Hi" and welcomed me in. Well … she still carried the same fragrance and surely could take my breath away! Nandan was getting ready and we had time for a small chat. She told me that "I will never trouble you for no fault of yours" and vaguely mentioned that "my problems are my own and I would not bother you with them". This got me a little confused and I had to ask "what problems? I don’t see any problems between you guys. I know Nandan quite well and cannot imagine any mistakes from him. He is a perfect gentleman and can never forget his family". She seemed to have recognized the unfriendly and stern tone of my voice and looked upset. When she got up saying, "I am sure Nandan can never forget his family", it looked as if she is about to burst into tears. I suddenly felt guilty questioning her morals. With lowered and almost moist eyes she turned around to go inside. I could feel her bursting into tears when I sat there motionless.


Almost a month passed since this event and the fragrance she carried was still fresh in my mind. She is somebody else’s wife and still I cudn’t help wanting her the way I do. By now, I wanted to believe that Swathi was somehow right in whatever she has done and I wud be right in falling for her fragrance, coz of the same unknown reasons. But, these reasons stayed as a mystery, until I recieved a mail from her … It read:

You may not realize how much I cherish the little time I spent with you. If I tell you that I plan to spend the rest of my life on those memories, you may get some idea. It’s difficult for a girl to forget the moments when she grew into a woman and those are the moments u gave to me. Like I said earlier, I don’t want to complicate your life for no fault of yours. But, I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life thinking that the person I owe so much would remember me as a cheating wife for the rest of my life.

I agree with you saying that Nandan will never forget those, who he consider his family. His family consists of an Italian woman, their three year old child and maybe his parents for whose sake he married me. Yes … he wudn’t make the mistake of lending his shoulders to a girl, lying next to him … even though she is his legal wife. Those are the mistakes only human’s make … not Saint’s!

Don’t ask me anything more than this. I also wudn’t know the answers. You are only the 3rd person to know about my life. Hope it stays that way. We may never meet again, but I wish you a very good life ahead with the girl of ur dreams and once again thanks for the time you gave me.

Lots of luv,
Only yours,
Swathi.

I was left there with the same feeling I had when I was lying next to her in that hotel room watching her pressing the forehead; a strong desire to pull her towards me and comfort her. But, she seemed too far away for me to do that!


Posted by usandeep at 10:01 AM
Updated: Tuesday, 19 February 2008 12:12 AM
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